Mengingat mu,Dad...

Tuhan..
Detak-detak tasbih mengalun dari tangan ini,mengucap Shalawat dan Salam padaMU dan Nabi akhir zaman.
Sejenak teringat kembali dengan sosok seorang lelaki yg berjasa di hidup ku,sosok yg selamanya ku rindu hadirnya dan ku sayang di sisa hidupku.
Tak kuasa ku tahan air mata karena teringat beliau,teringat kembali pada masa-masa beliau masih ada di tengah-tengah keluarga.
Aku mencoba untuk menghadirkan beliau di lembar-lembar angan ku,menghayalkan beliau sudah bahagia di sana.
Tuhan..
Sungguh aku masih merasa berdosa sampai saat ini mengingat segala tingkah laku ku selama beliau masih ada,aku selalu memaksakan kehendakku,selalu mau ini itu,sehingga kadang muncul sikap kekanakkan ku,merajuk dan marah pada beliau karena ingin ku tak terpenuhi.
Sungguh aku menyesal atas waktu yg telah berlalu.
Sekarang aku sadar,keinginanku yg tak beliau penuhi,bukan karena beliau tak mampu untuk memenuhiny,hanya saja untuk memberiku sebuah pelajaran yg berarti dalam hidup.

Karena tidak semua yg kita mau langsung terwujud.
Kita perlu usaha untuk segala sesuatu yg kita ingini.
Beliau adalah sosok yg tidak pernah meninggalkan sholat 5 waktu,sabar dalam menghadapi masyarakat yg kadang menjengkelkan di mataku.
Sosok yg tahu aturan menurut agama.
Sosok yg kadang keras terhadap keluarga,namun kadang juga bisa menjadi sosok penghibur melalui ajakannya yg selalu dadakan untuk mengadakan perjalanan keberbagai wisata alam.
Tuhan..
Aku merindukan perjalan-perjalanan itu bersama beliau,sungguh ku merindukannya sampai kadang menangis di tengah malam ku.
Menangis setelah kepergian beliau kadang menjadi teman dalam mengenang 19 tahun kebelakang ku bersama beliau.
Mengangis tidaklah jelek di mataku,namun wajar untuk ku,karena Rasulullah SAW saja bisa menitikkan air mata nya karena di tinggal oleh putra beliau bersama Maria Al Qibty.
Tuhan..
Sampaikan maaf ku yg terdalam utk beliau,dan salam ku utk beliau dan RasulMU.

Tuhan..
Izinkan ku untuk membahagiakan satu-satunya orang tua yg ku miliki lagi.
Buatlah dia bahagia memiliki aku sebagai anaknya.
Sungguh kadang aku merasa aku belum berbuat apa2 utk beliau yg telah pergi maupun yg masih ada di sisiku sekarang.
Seandainya waktu bisa ku putar kembali,aku kembali ingin menyentuh tangan beliau yg tlah pergi,menciumnya dan meminta ampun atas segala salah-salah yg tlah ku perbuat.
Tuhan..
ENGKAU yg maha membolak balikkan hati,ENGKAU yg menggenggam waktu,maha mengetahui segala sesuatu yg ada di hati-hati hambaMU.
ENGKAU tahu hati ku Ya Allah..
Wallahu'alam...

dad

Gw masih belum bisa bangkit dari si2 kehilangan bokap
Gw masih nangis,sedih mengingat bokap sudah pergi dan tidak ada lagi
Gw masih membayangkan beliau masih ada di rumah
masih dgn ke'santai'an beliau menghadapi anak2nya yg berbeda2
masih dgn celana pendek dan kaos singlet duduk di depan tv
masih duduk tenang dgn tasbih menghadap qiblat
masih terbatuk2 dalam tidurnya
masih tertawa sedap dgn adik gw yg paling kecil
masih dgn kacamatanya duduk di depan laptop
masih dgn gagahnya kalo ngajak gw ama mama and adek2 gw jalan2 kalo gw libur
masih dgn senyumnya (yg gw rindu bgt utk ngeliatnya) ke gw kalo gw berbuat hal2 yg lucu
masih dgn sesak nafasnya karena jantung bocornya
Gw masih ngerasa bokap ga pergi..
Gw memang ikhlas,tapi rasa kehilangan ini yg sulit pergi dari diri gw yg masih bisa di bilang adalah seorang anak yg sering bermanja2 dgn bonyok.
Gw berulang kali menyatakan dalam hati bahwa bokap gw yg 'itu' sudah pergi..
Setiap itu pula,gw ga bisa menahan diri gw utk tidak menangis..
Kadang terlintas di benak gw,dan gw bertanya2 kapan giliran gw utk ke tempat di mana bokap gw berada sekarang,kadang gw mikir mau minta di kasih jalan lebih cepat untuk ketemu bokap..
Sungguh..begini rasanya,hati gw serasa bolong karena kepergian bokap..
Kadang masih tergoda untuk bertanya sama mama..
Mana bokap? Lagi rapat kah?
Kapan kita jalan2 lagi sama bokap?
Tapi q tak sanggup utk melihat air mata mama yg sudah terlalu sering hadir.
Pingin rasanya bertukar posisi dgn adik2 gw yg kyanya berfikir lebih dewasa dri pada gw.
Teringat gw akan kata seseorang : kalaupun org yg kau sayangi sudah pergi,dia tidak pergi seutuhnya,dia masih hidup di dalam hatimu.

Dad,wherever u are,i know u can see me here
laft u dad..
Just wait 4 me
Laft u Dad
Laft u Dad...

)=

We will never ever stop..
We will never ever get enough..

I was afraid to see you walk away
I was afraid to break ur heart

I don't know bebz
this is true or false
I was fallin in love with you

I know thats all was crazy
I hope you back

Here i am waiting for you,my only one
Waiting for you,,bebz..

Can you feel me bebz?
Can you try to look at me bebz?

Are u kidding me?
U go with all my heart in ur hand.
Away..
So far away..

Did you forget everything all about me bebz ??
Did you forget who am i ??

Boring but i'm waiting,bebz...

Please forgive me for what i did.
Just say what u want bebz..
U want a ring ?
U want i promise u a ring ?
I'll did it for u.

Don't let me alone like this.
I feel like i can't strong enough.




[bused dah,confuse gw di kirimin kata2 begene,kaga ngarti dy ngemeng apa !
sukur yg ngrim gag puna FB,kalo gag,gw bakal ketauan posting ini kata2 ke notes gw. Yg ada dy malah GR Hhuuek (vomit) ]

Berharap

Berharap utk tda tau sapa kao

Berharap utk tda tau sapa nama kao

Berharap utk tda mengenal kao

Berharap utk tda memiliki nope kao

Berharap utk tda sedekat ini dengan kao

Berharap utk tda peduli dgn kao

Berharap utk tda percaya dgn kao

Berharap utk berhenti menginginkan kao

Berharap utk mencaci maki kao

Berharap utk berhenti selalu perang dgn kao

Berharap utk pergi jaoh dari kao

Berharap utk amnesia d bagian otak kenangan bersama kao [huehehe,emang bisa yak ?!]

Berharap utk segera ilfeel trhdap kao

Berharap utk tda berharap apa2 ttg kao


Berharap utk mampus
Berharap utk tiada
Berharap utk di benci



pasti dah gag bisa...
Hwhehehe



[gipsy<]

Just One Day.. [..dad..]

If U could change da choices that u made..
Would u do it today ?
If U could spin da world da other way
Could u do it on faith ?
If time would stand still

What would u do ?
What would u say ?
If everyone u laft come back vo just one day ?
How would it feel if every dream come real ?
And all da scars u have fade away
for just one day

imagine all da times u that could take back
what would u have done differently
thoughts in ur head u never said
or a heart that u broke and left for dead
if all da pain u had could be released
how life flies by

and da nights
all da good times and da fights
all da take and da give
all da moments that we never got to live....

Am no AngeL

If u gave me juz a coin 4 every time we say goodbye
well id be rich beyond ma dreams
am sorry 4 ma weary life
i know am not perfect but i can smile
and i hope det u see diz heart behind ma tired eyes
if u tell me det i cant, i will, i will
ill try ol nait
and if i say am comin home
ill probably be out ol nait
i know i can be afraid but am alive
and i hope det u can trust diz heart behind ma tired eyes

am no Angel
but please dont think that i wont try
am no Angel
but does det mean det i can't live ma life
am no Angel
but please dont think det i cant cry
am no Angel
but does det mean det i wont fly

i know am not around each nait
and i know i always think am right

i can believe det u might look around

If Today Was uR Last Day

If Today Was Your Last Day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above

That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

please don't leave

I dont know if i can yell any louder
How many time i've kicked u outta here?
Or said something insulting?

I can be so mean when i wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut U INTO PIECES
but my heart is BROKEN

Please DON'T LEAVE ME
Please DON'T LEAVE ME
I always say how i dont need U
but its always gonna come right back to this
Please DON'T LEAVE ME

How did i become so obnoxius?
What is it with U that makes me act like this?
I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS NASTY

Can't u tell that this is all just a contest?
Da one that wins will be da one that hits da hardest
but baby i don't mean it
i mean it
i PROMISE

I forgot to say OUT LOUD HOW BEAUTIFULL U REALLY ARE TO ME
I cannot be without
UR MY PERFECT LITTLE PUNCHING BAG
AND I NEED U
Am Sorry..









*pink-please don't leave*

da way i am

If u were FALLING
Then i would CATCH u
U need a light
I'd find a match


Cuz i laft da way u say good morning
and u take me da way i am


If u are CHILLY
Here take my SWEATER
Ur head is aching
I'll make it better


Cuz i laft da way u CALL ME BABY
and u take me da way i am


Id buy u Regaine
When u start losing all ur hair
Sew on patches to all ur tear



Cuz i laft u MORE THAN I COULD EVER PROMISE
and u take me da way i am









Inggrid Michaelson - da Way i Am

*dedicated to all ma best friend around da world*

With My Charming

Pertama kali bertemu 5 tahun yg lalu dgn kamu,lo,ikam,nyawa.. Whatever
haha

lo bilang gw jutek,
haha iya bgt..
Tapi stelah itu lo jadi temen gw..

Gw kagum pas liat lo buka casing hape lo,gw anggap pas saat itu hebat bgt !
Hahaha gila kan gw,R ??

Trz lo kaci gw permen karet pink,bungkus'a gambar barbie,sumpah ! Tu permen masih gw simpen sampe sekarang !
Hahaha,gw kan tipe org yg menghargai gtu Say...

Lo org pertama yg ngenalin gw sama dunia Avril Lavigne.
Sejak itu juga gw jadi suka n demen sama Avril.
Thx so much Babe !

Lo org yg nyabarin gw,pas gw mau nampar anak kls kita pas tahun pertama di Mtp.
Hahaha..

Ketawa ngakak,liat lo belajar dgn buku2 lo yg keriting,gara2 ke ujanan,trz lo setrika..

Lo org yg setia [sampe saat ini] minjemin gw buku Harpot,dari yg 1 mpe 7.

Lo jga org petama yg ngenalin gw ma dunia Final Fantasy.
Karna lo,gw jadi suka Rikku,Yuffie Kisaragi,Tidus,Cloud,Yuna,

Paine,Tifa Lockheart.
Dan bersama2 membenci Aerith !
Hahaha

Lo juga org pe1 yg bikin gw tergila2 sama the Sims..

Sama2 gila ttg Linkin Park..

Lo juga org pe1 yg ngajakin gw nge'date buat beli tas bareng,biar kembar.

Lo org yg ngajarin gw internetan [dgn Zen suami mu sekarang,tentu saja]

Tahun ke 2 di Mtp lo jadian ma laki lo yg sekarang..
Oh waw..betapa waktu cepat berlalu.
Hahahaha

Trz lo juga org p1 yg ngenalin Twilight ke gw..
Yg setia minjemin gw n0vel'a..
Sampe mau jual n0vel'a ke gw..
Thx u so much ma Charming !

Lo satu2na temen,sahabat,saudara,musuh,terbaik gw..
Sungguh,tak ada yg bisa gantiin saat2 kita gila bersama,ketawa ngakak bersama,joget aneh bersama [semoga video'a masih lo simpen],nonton pelem gila bersama.

Lo adalah salon terbaik gw !
Lo sring m0t0ngin rambut gw [thx atas rambut gw yg miring sebelah].
Lo sring dandanin gw kek hantu [thx atas make up kadaluarsa'a]
hahahaha

Lo adalah bank gw !
Bank buku,
bank komik,
bank duit kalo gw boke.

Lo slalu ada [ga selalu seh,hahaha]
Saat gw perlu cerita ttg cowo2 yg lalu lalang di hidup gw.
Saat gw kehilangan bokap,lo yg ada di samping gw.
Saat gw menangis,lo bisa'a cuma liat !
Hahaha karna lo takut ma gw,tkut ga bisa menghibur gw.
Bisa'a cuma ngasi gw tisu selembar ma kertas yg ada bekas kuteks biru lo yg lo tulisin
"ZLEA KENAPA? NANGIS GARA2 AER Y?"
Hahahaha,kampret lo =p

banyak hal yg gw lakuin ma lo,pertama bagi gw.
Lo memberikan gw inspirasi [bukan terasi].
Lo memberikan gw banyak hal.
Lo memberikan gw dunia utk di sentuh.

Banyak hal yg hilang kalo lo pergi ninggalin gw dgn status Married.
But its ok,gw seneng,bahagia utk lo..
Apa pun itu,seperti kata lo dulu [yg masih gw inget]
" WALAOPUN,LO BENCI MA GW YA,LO TETEP SAHABAT GW"

sekarang gw yg mau bilang begini
"PERAWAN ATAU GAK SETELAH LO KAWIN,LO TETEP BINI ZEN DAN SAHABAT GW"
Hhahaha,ya iya lah !

Lo masih ingat pas kita shoping kehabisan duit?
Ancridt,gw ga mau lagi ngejalani hal begitu ma lo,hahaha

Gw sayang lo..
Semoga bahagia..
Menempuh hidup baru..
Zen Ree

jadilah istri yaangg...
Jgn sampe kena laknat Malaikat

"u know what i mean"